


When you Left

by RKaoriL



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Depression, Drama, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Like sriously don't read this if you have weak heart, Making Out, Making Up, Post-Break Up, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5291825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RKaoriL/pseuds/RKaoriL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marinette wished she didn't love him so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He is depressed, she is coward

****Marinette wished she didn’t love him that much.

It was not because of sometimes, when he smiled to her her heart stopped, or because sometimes during the night, he would whisper sweet nothing to her earls and mix that with the cheesiest puns.

It was because sometimes his heart became so dark it made her heart tighten in her chest, stole her breath and shook her brain into a gas state.

Like now.

Because when Adrien Agreste is crying Ladybug is a coward.

Part of her wants to embrace him, hug him so tight he won’t feel anything but her love - but she knows it won’t do. The other part of her wants to run away, hide from him and from his sadness that seems to consume her little by little.

And when she realizes how much she wants to run, it kills her. Because the only thing she wants more than run from his grief is to love him.

And she does.

So deeply.

Deep down, she is scared. Scared of not being enough to make him happy - and induce his leave. Scared of this - whatever this is, the state of deep depression of him that seems to consume her as well - not being enough for her.

She is scared of losing him. She is scared he’ll lose her.

In times like these, she tries to hug him out, or maybe distract him. Heaven knows she isn’t strong enough for that anymore.

So she sits by his side in the balcony, where he watches the dark city - deprived of sun because of the clouds - while silent tears go down his face.

Between the couple, the most significant silence happens. He takes her hand, entwining their fingers together and she rests her head in his shoulders.  
\- I love you. - she says, then realize that tears are rolling down her face as well.  
\- I know.

Marinette then does the most coward thing she has ever done in her life - she leaves.  


	2. He feels nothing, she feels to much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- I can’t stay just because I feel like I have to, and I don’t know if I do. And you can’t stay just because I’m the only thing that makes you feel something.

The day after Marinette lefts, she realizes the only thing harder than staying was staying away.

It’s like every fiber of her body wants to come back, to feel his warmth against her skin and to kiss him into oblivion.

 

But she doesn’t come back. She is in this precarious state of mind that keeps her from thinking, analysing, realizing.

 

All she knows is that she wants to go back.

But she doesn’t.

 

Marinette was against the glass window of Alya’s room watching the rain falling, wondering what he was doing. Part of her felt so bad about leaving - and leaving him in that state - that she finally realizes why she hasn’t returned -  she is scared again.

Scared that the only reason she wants to come back is guilty, or remorse. That the only reason is the feeling she was the closest person to his heart, like he is to hers, but that she is also the only one.

 

She sinks her head in her knees and let out a dirty, loud, embarrassing whimper. She felt so bad - and it all finally hit her like a truck: how bad she felt, how much she missed him, his smell, his smile, his warmth.

Marinette has never felt so cold.

 

Alya comes back from the kitchen after a few minutes with two cups of coffee. Then, she sees Marinette crying holding her knees and run to her, embracing Marinette and whispering comforting things.

\- It’s okay - Alya whispers - You’re gonna be ok.

 

Marinette wants to push Alya away, because she doesn’t deserve her comfort. She left Adrien - Adrien, the love of her life, her partner, her everything - instead of comforting him, she left her self-centered feelings make everything about her while he was collapsing.

But she doesn’t push Alya, neither tell those things to her. She just holds her back and cries, cries like the baby she is.

 

-

 

The next time Marinette sees Adrien is in the next day. It is the end of the afternoon, and she is sure he is not at home.

Quietly, she opens the door and sneaks through their apartment, looking for the most archaic things she needs to survive.

Besides him, of course.

 

She opens their room’s door, quickly turns on the light and lets out a surprised squeak as she collapses against him, who was imperceptible in the dark.  
\- Hey. - he says, awkwardly.

 

She is scared to look up, scared of what she is going to see and how much she misses it.

Marinette can’t manage to say anything, the shame and regret crawling through her skin.  
\- Marinette - he says, and almost seems desperate - please, look at me.

 

She looks away, unable to answer.   
\- Marinette. - he says, and then holds her wrists, pushing her towards him.

 

She is suddenly engulfed by him - the warmth, the smell, everything she’ve had been longing all this time. Subconsciously, she looks up. His green eyes are staring at her with many things - sadness, longing, treasuring, wonder, hurt.

There are big dark bags under his eyes, and they are also red and swollen, like he’d been crying. She wants to apologize, to scream to him how much she loves, to stay, to go, to do many things.

He kisses her and and seal her mind, and then he’s everything she can think of. Marinette realizes then why she didn’t want to bump into him, to meet him, to look at him. Because her body is so in synth with him it’s natural, right.

His hands go down to her waist, pulling her closer to him. Her hands go down, hugging him under his shirt, all she wants to do is feel him. She bites his lips, he gasps. He holds her closer, tighter, pulling her so close they both can barely breath.

 

Suddenly, she pulls away. He lets her.

\- No. - she says. And then tears roll down her face, and she is crying like a baby again - I-I… I can’t do that to you again!

 

He watches her with a blank expression, as if he is just watching a movie, not something real and relevant. And she knows he cares, but he is so deep down drowning in his sadness there’s barely anything he can feel for real.  
\- I understand. - he says, emotionless.  
\- No you don’t! - she pushes him, he unbalances and stumbles back - I love you Adrien Agreste, I love you so fucking much it hurts. And I can’t stand being by your side, because it feels most of the time like you are not there! And I can’t also stay away from you, because then, you are really not there! - her tears are rolling down like a cascade, and she looks down, she doesn’t want to see his face - I-I love you. I wish I didn’t. But I know you can’t bring yourself to feel anything, let alone love.

 

Marinette tries to clean her tears away from her face, unsuccessful.  
\- I can’t stay just because I feel like I have to, and I don’t know if I do. And you can’t stay just because I’m the only thing that makes you feel something.

 

Looking at the carpet, she listens to a whimper and it let her know he collpsed, all his repressed emotions out, all the sadness and loliness and grief.  
- _Then go_. - he almost growls, and leaves the room.

  
She feels like her heart have been ripped off her chest.


	3. When she left, While he waited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Really?" He sounds vulnerable, in pain, doubtful, hopeful, and to her surprise, a little surprised of her affirmative as well.
> 
> "Really." She places a thread of golden hair behind his ear as she leans to him and rests her chin in his shoulder, whispers "You take my breath away, you stole my heart without my consent. I can live without you, a sad, boring half-life, but I don't want to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your kind words of mortification! I am very glad to break all your hearts. Hehe
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for reading!

She is in her bed, in her parent's house, watching the rain against her window and reviving in memories what she called isolated incidents. Marinette realizes now she was irresponsible - her partner's mental health might not be her responsability, but heaven knows Adrien would never call anxiety attacks and repetitive crying "isolated incidents" if it came from her.

Why didn't she dragged him to the doctor? God knows he wasn't in any state in which self care would be existent.

When she fall sleep, her dreams take her to the first thing she really noticied something was wrong.

" _Adrien" she had whispered to his ear, his breath was in her neck and his hands embraced her hips tightly. "Let it out" she demanded "don't hold back."_

_A sharp, rough-voiced moan left his lips. Her heart stopped in her chest, his backs arched in her direction despite her body being above his, his theeth tracing deep in her shoulder._

_She let out a moan, his mouth did as well. Her hands worked faster in his member, a hard almos cry like moan out of him again._

_"Marinette"_

_"Yes"_

_"Pease, oh-h, don't stop. Ahh-" his breath was caught in his throat, thrn it reestarted even faster._

_"I won't" she said with a grin._

_He was panting, all under her control. She leaned on her tempers and used the previously balance hand to touch the sensitive skin of his balls, her other hand almost numb of the continuous moviment but rejoiced with every sound of her partner._

_"Marinette, ah, Marinette please, please keep oh my, ahh, " his breath steady, his eyes suddenly locked against hers "I need you, please, don't stop, ahh, Marinette"_

_"Adrien" she purred in his earl, his moans more frequent, his entire body arched and pressed violently agains her, his bare sounds in the dark bringimg a pleasurous, almost painful pressure in her groin. She grinded agains his tigh, he barely screamed her name._

_Suddenly,a gasp. He wasn't breathing anymore, his eyes were closed, the ghost of her name in her lips. Then he bit her neck, and bit hard. She gasped with the painful pleasure but keep going until he was done._

_She collapsed agains his panting body, her cheeck against his upper chest. He embraced her, his head rested against her hair._

_"I love you" she said, then looked up and kissed him. He opened his lips to her and let her in as she sank her fingers in his hair. His arms embraced her little form as if she would vanish._

_Only after some minutes she realized he was crying._

_"..Adrien? Are you ok?" She tried to sit down, but he pulled her down to him._

_"I love you." He said "I love you so much it hurts" he sobbed "please don't leave me."_

_"I won't" she kissed his hair and embraced him "I am right here, I would never leave you silly cat". He sobbed again, leaning in her in bed as she kissed his hair again._

_\---_

Marinette wakes up at 3:15 am. Her body craves Adrien as she whimpers to her tear-wet pillow, realizing she left him despise asuring him she wouldn't.

As she watches his uncontious form from his ( _their_ ) balcony, she is midst ephiphany.

Why am I back? - she questions herself - Why I left?

As Adrien turns in his sleep, she watches every detail of his soft blond hair and his angular traits. The curve of his lips get to her, her chest just hurst, tights up, and all of the sudden she is sure again.

Ladybug opens the door carefully, enters and closes it again. The click wakes Adrien up, he sits up startled in bed, rubbing his eyes.

"My Lady...?" His voice is so hopeful it breaks her heart.

She says nothing, just crawls to him in the bed and embraces him. He is at first surprised, but then the familiar scent and warmth get to him as he melts in her arms.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise" she says "I'm sorry I left".

He looks up to her and as a car passes through the street, it's lights hits Adrien's face and she can see how deep his eyes are of sleepless nights and crying. It breaks her heart again.

"I'm going to take care of you." She promises, this time praying she will keep it this time "I love you Adrien, Chat. I love you so much my heart aches, my mind is fuzzy and my lungs stop doing their jobs." 

"Really?" He sounds vulnerable, in pain, doubtful, hopeful, and to her surprise, a little surprised of her affirmative as well.

"Really." She places a thread of golden hair behind his ear as she leans to him and rests her chin in his shoulder, whispers "You take my breath away, you stole my heart without my consent. I can live without you, a sad, boring half-life, but I don't want to."

She leans back and kisses his lips slightly, noticing both their faces are wet with tears.

"I am so sorry. Do you accept me back?"

His face breaks in a smile, and he laughs as tears roll down his face.

"I've been waiting for you since when you left." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its rough, I know both have to sort out and apologize and all that, but please, don't mistake this as a happy ending.  
> Adrien and Mari are broken, they both have no idea of what is going on and have a lot to sort out. But this is not about they overcoming Adrien's depression - its about Marinette noting she truly loves him and will go through hell for him if necessary.


End file.
